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They tried to set up a discharge plan and he fought them saying he could drive etc
He has an infected leg
They had a caregiver meet him at his house and she called me and told me how horrible it is, she couldn't even sit anywhere and there was poop all over the place
He is set up for 4 hours a day 5 days a week but he doesn't want to pay he wants to save the money for "his children" probably my sister's kid but that is not the reason
he is a selfish old POS at least the social worker-SOMEBODY_ outside of my life saw this. I am so so grateful and feel so lucky and blessed
I have a bag of his bills they are all going back in the paper bag and being deposited on his back porch I refuse to go in the house.
He doesn't care how much this hurts me but F HIM

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Thank you all!!!'🩷🩷🩷🩷

Im just going to let it play out it's making me physically ill. I might call 911. Idk
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Nothing new to add, just seconding what Burnt and Daughter have advised. It's ok to be furious and it's the right thing to do to protect yourself. You can't help someone who won't help themselves, especially when the authorities have said nothing can be done.
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Mary,

You did the right things. His doctor said he was able to go home. APS evaluated him and said he's competent. So, leave him to it then. His asinine nonsense and stubbornness are not your problem. In fact, it would probably be a good idea if you had someone else drop the bag of bills off on his porch. Don't even go there yourself. You're a caring person and may be tempted to go into the house and check on him. Don't do it. Have someone else drop the bag of bills off.

Please don't start guilt-tripping yourself by saying maybe he was nice to you. If you don't remember someone ever being nice to you they weren't. Stay strong and don't let yourself be led back to this situation. Good luck.
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Mary, something makes your dad unable to think rationally and clearly. If it’s not dementia, it’s mental illness. The system is failing him. He’s been reported for his awful living conditions, and the system is failing to act. None of this is one you, not your fault, and not something you can change or fix. All very sad for sure. Continue to protect yourself and not be involved. I wish you healing and peace
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Thank you!
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yes aps already health dpt and APS the say he is cognizant

i have a bag of his bills I am going to chuck them at his door

I really don't know why I put up with this maybe he was nice to me back in the day

not feeling sorry for myself this has hung over my head for too long and ruined part of my life

if he dies unfortunately he has been so awful to me I don't care

if my sister comes up here and pretends she cares I don't care

He is so worried about keeping his money for his children (aka his grandchild) good for that I don't care

if he dies? I don't know if I will care
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Mary543, I am sorry you are in such a stressful situation. Unfortunately dementia makes one selfish and unaware of the messes they make, and pointing out the absurdities of their behavior just makes them more stubborn. There is nothing you can do since he clearly doesn't listen to you or others. I wonder if he realizes that his leg needs care. You care for him and are understandably angry, luckily it sounds like you don't live with him. Have you tried contacting Adult Protective Services? The local police may also be able to help or advise. Try to get any information you can on services available in your area. Maybe the caregiver or her agency may also have suggestions, and likely somebody in the forum will help. If he needs to be moved to a home maybe the house (after a good cleaning) can be sold to cover the expenses. Try to separate yourself mentally from the situation to protect yourself, if would be great if you could talk to a counselor or even just a friend or somebody you trust. Could your sister also help? Please take care of yourself, you are important.
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