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I and my grandmother live in California and she has late stage dementia for last 5 years. Besides that she’s very healthy physically, but I can’t handle it. The physical and emotional toll it has taken on me I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t afford memory care and we have no other family or anybody willing to help. I’m at my ends and I need a solution quick. The only issue is that My grandmother is not Eligible for Medical because of immigration status and only has emergency medical. She has turned violent sometimes, throws stuff at the walls or at me, breaks things, yells and cries and then forgets it. I feel trapped in my own home because I’m scared she will hurt herself. I find human waste from her in places where I rest. Clogs the bathrooms, hides my things, locks herself in so now I have to have a screwdriver in every room. I can’t go outside or she will scream on top of her lungs because she doesn’t want to be alone. I can’t handle it no more. What do I do?

Kombucha, I’m sorry you’re in this very difficult situation. Thinking of you. Update us if you can.
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Reply to SnoopyLove
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Try taking her to the ER and telling them her behavior has changed and she might have a UTI but is refusing care. Don't tell them she has dementia since this is not considered a medical emergency. Make sure you tell the discharge planner that she is an "unsafe discharge" -- that you cannot care for her safely. Then ask to talk to a hospital social worker about getting her a court-appointed guardian.

Maybe the hospital will do a social admit (5150) and keep her hospitalized to try to medicate her so that she isn't so agitated and aggressive. But if she doesn't have Medicare or Medicaid... not sure the meds will be covered.

I'm so very sorry you've been put into this situation. If you find a solution please come back and tell us since you're not the only person to post about this dilemma.
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Reply to Geaton777
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California has paused new applications to medi-cal for federally ineligible noncitizen groups, which means either selling the house if she owns it to pay for memory care as it seems she is beyond the point of being able to return to her home country.

I would call Area on Aging (211; 311) and immigration groups to verify what happens if a federally ineligible noncitizen is left in the er. Would they just stabilize her and call a cab to a homeless shelter?
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Kombucha 1 hour ago
She owns no property, hasn’t worked in years. Nor has any social security
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