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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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I am 74 and been. diagnoised with congestive heart failure. I was falling alot and had a seizure. My Dr told me I should not live alone. My daughter and her boyfriend was needing a place to stay. So we talked and decided she can be my caregiver. We actually didnt make a verbal agreement as to what's espected of her and him. I am paying the rent and electric and internet. Last month she gave me 70.00 on the electric bill that has doubled. I have a washer and dryer they can use. I expected her to at least keep the one bedroom apt clean. He does some if the house work like vacuming and dishes. She does nothing but sits on the couch on her phone all day long. My apt is not clean like I used to keep it. When I complain both of them say my apt was dirty when they came here. Another excuse is no caregiver will wait in you 24/7. My question is how much should they do for free rent. When I remind her I pay the rent she tells me "you have to pay the rent anyway. What should I expect from both of them. She has foodstamps and does buy groceries but both of them eat a lot so I really don't count the groceries.. What should I expect.? I feel I'm being taken advantage of. Thank you.
UTI Infections can get into blood stream? Travel to brain, and make people think really wonky., validation about phone hacking. My friend lost a huge chunk of change..she recognized the call was "initiated" in her country. If your mom gets a call from her bank... hang up the phone and call her local branch; better yet drive there.
Dottie, I'm so sorry, you are being taken advantage of. Letting a homeless daughter and boyfriend stay in your home without any written agreement was destined to be a disaster. For you. For her, it seems to be working out great. One should Always have a written caregiving agreement, even with family. The agreement should detail the duties of the caregiver and the pay. Offering caregiving for free rent is never a good idea - for either party. The truth is, a live-in caregiver (professional) should still be paid a wage. Of course, this is family. It's your daughter, and you saw an opportunity to help her out and thought she could help you. This living arrangement doesn't seem to be working for you. But, I doubt you will take steps to evict your daughter and her boyfriend. In my opinion, you might be better off moving out of your apartment and into an assisted living or senior community, possibly even a nursing home, if you have the need for more skilled care. If you don't already have Medicaid, please apply for Medicaid. Call your local county office of Health and Human Services for more information.
If you are content to have your daughter as your live in caregiving aide, then I suggest you sit down with her and discuss exactly what you expect from her and what she is able and willing to do. As I stated, live-in caregivers do not pay for their room and board, and are paid a wage in addition to establishing working hours and days and time off. It depends just how much help you really need from your daughter. Perhaps you are independent at this time, and just having her around gives you peace of mind. That is worth giving her free rent. If this is just a living together arrangement, like roommates, then establish a roommate agreement for all three of you, splitting the cost of rent, utilities and food. If you are expecting her to act as your caregiver, then she does not owe anything. Please be cautious. I am worried that she could, in time, take even more advantage to the point of abuse. You are vulnerable to abuse from her and her boyfriend. You can call Adult Protective Services hotline if you ever feel unsafe or if they start taking money from you.
My mil keeps employing an aide who collects 1400 a week for sleeping there with “her” informal adoption kid. She cooks the food mil buys to feed her and this kid. There are no adls. All aide does is use her need for emotional support companionship. She’s gone back to trying to be invisible instead of trying to take over the prehospice process family meetings when fil was dying, thank god. You, meanwhile, are offering no salary and now squabbling over who pays the electric bill.
I agree with those saying your daughter should leave. All you have is an apartment anyway. Good luck finding a stranger to move in to replace your actual family..
Thinking what would the caregivers here answer if your daughter asked the question?
Here is an idea: Using your knowledge of the facts, plus your wildest imagination, try re-writing your question if your daughter had written it about her own situation, putting yourself in her shoes. That may reveal if she seems happy with the situation.
This isn’t working and needs changing. Tell your daughter and the boyfriend they will need to find another place to live. You will need to find other help, either by you hiring a helper or moving to where help is available. I’m sorry your daughter has proven to be of no help, it’s unfortunate, but don’t spend any more time trying to make her different or this arrangement to work. Call your local Area Agency on Aging and inquire what places or help you might be eligible for. Sounds like time for you to move to a place safer for you. I wish you well finding a better location
Does it give you peace of mind realizing that if you have a seizure and collapse, or just randomly fall down, or your heart problems suddenly escalate - you have a family member you love in your home who will make sure you get help?
Do you enjoy her and her boyfriend's company? I know that you are all crowded, and that might be very irritating. Or it might not be.
Your daughter is correct, you are going to pay the rent anyway. Your trade off is peace of mind if you need help and you become badly injured or unconscious. What Caregiving are you expecting her to do, when you asked her to move in because your Doctor said you shouldn't live alone? Figure out what exactly you need done and ask her to help you with that.
You said she does the grocery shopping, does she cook? Is she enjoyable to be around? Do you feel safer?
Expect nothing. She's not the helping kind. What kind of caregiving has she actually provided for you?
Focus on getting them out of your home. This isn't going to get better, only worse. Once they are out, you can move on to a living situation that benefits you. That seems like a huge job to accomplish on your own, but you have no choice. This one is eventually going to affect your health, and you need to take care of yourself. These people are grifters. They are not trained caregivers, which is what you need now. I'm so sorry this hasn't worked out for you, but you CAN fix it. I'm sure you'll get some really good advice on this site, but it's up to you to take it. Good luck!
in the search icon above (magnifying glass) enter: caregiver contract.
1. Put it in writing. It does not appear that they are doing any caregiving. Except what they would be doing anyway to keep their own place clean.
2. If you are providing "free rent", it should not cost you more for them to stay there. Change up the picture: List all the expenses and divide them, either by 1/2 or 1/3rd. Charge them that on paper. Then calculate what value of care they did give, to you personally. Such as: Sheets changed.
3. It sounds crowded there, the stress of working this out could make your condition worse. Recall that the doctor said you shouldn't live alone. He may not have meant that you require a "caregiver". 4. You do not have to blame anyone in order to change things, or have them move out. I do not think you can force your daughter to work at all, so change things. 5. This arrangement will continue to cost you, imo.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
validation about phone hacking. My friend lost a huge chunk of change..she recognized the call was "initiated" in her country. If your mom gets a call from her bank... hang up the phone and call her local branch; better yet drive there.
Letting a homeless daughter and boyfriend stay in your home without any written agreement was destined to be a disaster. For you. For her, it seems to be working out great.
One should Always have a written caregiving agreement, even with family. The agreement should detail the duties of the caregiver and the pay. Offering caregiving for free rent is never a good idea - for either party. The truth is, a live-in caregiver (professional) should still be paid a wage. Of course, this is family. It's your daughter, and you saw an opportunity to help her out and thought she could help you.
This living arrangement doesn't seem to be working for you. But, I doubt you will take steps to evict your daughter and her boyfriend.
In my opinion, you might be better off moving out of your apartment and into an assisted living or senior community, possibly even a nursing home, if you have the need for more skilled care. If you don't already have Medicaid, please apply for Medicaid. Call your local county office of Health and Human Services for more information.
If you are content to have your daughter as your live in caregiving aide, then I suggest you sit down with her and discuss exactly what you expect from her and what she is able and willing to do. As I stated, live-in caregivers do not pay for their room and board, and are paid a wage in addition to establishing working hours and days and time off. It depends just how much help you really need from your daughter. Perhaps you are independent at this time, and just having her around gives you peace of mind. That is worth giving her free rent. If this is just a living together arrangement, like roommates, then establish a roommate agreement for all three of you, splitting the cost of rent, utilities and food.
If you are expecting her to act as your caregiver, then she does not owe anything.
Please be cautious. I am worried that she could, in time, take even more advantage to the point of abuse. You are vulnerable to abuse from her and her boyfriend. You can call Adult Protective Services hotline if you ever feel unsafe or if they start taking money from you.
I agree with those saying your daughter should leave. All you have is an apartment anyway. Good luck finding a stranger to move in to replace your actual family..
Here is an idea:
Using your knowledge of the facts, plus your wildest imagination, try re-writing your question if your daughter had written it about her own situation, putting yourself in her shoes. That may reveal if she seems happy with the situation.
Do you enjoy her and her boyfriend's company? I know that you are all crowded, and that might be very irritating. Or it might not be.
Your daughter is correct, you are going to pay the rent anyway. Your trade off is peace of mind if you need help and you become badly injured or unconscious. What Caregiving are you expecting her to do, when you asked her to move in because your Doctor said you shouldn't live alone?
Figure out what exactly you need done and ask her to help you with that.
You said she does the grocery shopping, does she cook? Is she enjoyable to be around? Do you feel safer?
Just food for thought.
There's more to life than money.
Focus on getting them out of your home. This isn't going to get better, only worse. Once they are out, you can move on to a living situation that benefits you. That seems like a huge job to accomplish on your own, but you have no choice. This one is eventually going to affect your health, and you need to take care of yourself. These people are grifters. They are not trained caregivers, which is what you need now. I'm so sorry this hasn't worked out for you, but you CAN fix it. I'm sure you'll get some really good advice on this site, but it's up to you to take it. Good luck!
caregiver contract.
1. Put it in writing. It does not appear that they are doing any caregiving. Except what they would be doing anyway to keep their own place clean.
2. If you are providing "free rent", it should not cost you more for them to stay there. Change up the picture: List all the expenses and divide them, either by 1/2 or 1/3rd. Charge them that on paper. Then calculate what value of care they did give, to you personally. Such as: Sheets changed.
3. It sounds crowded there, the stress of working this out could make your condition worse. Recall that the doctor said you shouldn't live alone. He may not have meant that you require a "caregiver".
4. You do not have to blame anyone in order to change things, or have them move out. I do not think you can force your daughter to work at all, so change things.
5. This arrangement will continue to cost you, imo.